


I See You, Ben Gunn

by AngryPirateHusbands



Series: Bring About the Tides of Change [1]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality Spectrum, Developing Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Feelings, Fluid Sexuality, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 06:49:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8435689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryPirateHusbands/pseuds/AngryPirateHusbands
Summary: Billy has never been too overly interested in physical intimacy. Yet as he begins to know Ben Gunn, not just as a member of the crew but as a friend, he begins to see things a little differently.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OnlyOneWoman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyOneWoman/gifts).



> Okay, so... While this was a request, I've been wanting to do some Billy/Ben for a while now. Billy is one of my favorite characters mostly because he strikes me as asexual in the early part of the series. This hits me on a personal note as my best friend is asexual, and is currently going through some stuff where he is physically attracted to someone for the first time in, well, a while.
> 
> So while this is a shoutout to all the BoneGunn lovers at there, I also hope this gives asexuality an accurate portrayal, while at the same time showing how sexuality is an ever-moving spectrum.

Billy Bones had never been interested in sex the way his brothers, or even the rest of Nassau, were. It wasn't a matter so simple as preferring men more or less than women. It was the whole concept that failed to capture his attention. Ever since he was a lad he knew he was a tad bit different. Perhaps it was due to his rough upbringing; the way his entire world had been yanked beneath his feet and had led him to murder and piracy in the first place. No matter the cause, his difference of opinion only became more apparent once he came to this island. The entirety of the place ran on plunder, rum, and whores. There were very few men to whom he had divulged this information. And even then it wasn't due to some part of himself believing he owed anyone an explanation. He didn't; it was truly no ones business but his own. But after the men had tried to "coronate" his arrival to the crew with a visit to their infamous Blackbeard, a guise he saw through almost immediately, he felt the need to make himself clear. That he had no interest.

Of course this had fallen on deaf and drunk ears. Even so the men had left him alone after that, for the most part at least. In a way they almost seemed used to it, as even Captain Flint appeared to be just as disinterested in the prospect as he was. Unlike Vane and the other captains, he steered clear of the brothel altogether. Later he learned that it was perhaps due not a lack of interest, but rather his loyalty to a woman within the Interior. While "Mrs. Barlow" was a name he would not come to hear for quite a while, the crew of the _Walrus_ seemed familiar with the hold this woman had on him. So much so that they referred to her as a witch. If that wasn't love, he wasn't sure what was.

Gates was the first he had opened up to about his "differences". After the near miss with the whore "Blackbeard" he had been left feeling strangely adrift. He had never felt this type of separation before when he was young, but when given flack about not wanting to pay for a quick fuck, it left him seeking understanding. Maybe even reassurance. Gates had simply shrugged and given him a pat on the back. "So what?" he had said. "These men are hungry, rowdy fucks that care for little more than coin, a bottle, and a spot between a woman's legs." He had laughed then. A gruff laugh that made his eyes crinkle in a way that reminded Billy of his father. "Who gives a shit if you aren't like them? Hell, while I see their point on certain vices, I don't much want to be like them, either. You don't have to explain yourself, Billy. Not to me, not to the men, not to anyone. You know who you are."

Billy had no way to expect that Gates would say exactly what it was he needed to hear. And so he nodded, accepted another firm pat on his shoulder, and went about his business. Never again was he bothered by the thought of needing to explicate himself. He avoided the brothel as he had always intended, simply shrugging off any offers to join the men for a quick fuck and saying he wasn't interested. While the men most likely took this to mean that, like their Captain, he had a lady love, they accepted it the same and let him be.

It would be several years before he found himself attracted to someone, physical or otherwise. While he was by no means a virgin, he had fucked a few men and women that he had loved, it had been for their satisfaction more than his own. But experiencing true attraction for someone... that proved to be few and far between. The first time he felt that pull was when he came across Abigail Ashe. He had been seeking a word with the captain but was quickly distracted by the large hazelnut eyes that gazed up at him. He had felt that weight, heavy and warm as it unfurled in his belly. While he wasn't exactly familiar with the sensation, he recognized it immediately for what it was. The dryness of his mouth, the skipped beat in his chest; the allure he felt was unmistakable. And based alone on the wry smile the infamous Mrs. Barlow had cast in his direction, it was also apparent to everyone at that table.

The night before they were expected to make port at Charlestown, the two had eventually found themselves within the private confines of the bulkhead. Billy had pulled Abigail close, holding her tightly in his arms as their shared fervent kisses against the wall in the shadowed corner. Though they had both appeared to desire far more than that, God he practically _ached_ with it, he didn't dare. Pirate he may be, but he also thought of himself as a gentlemen. Well, at least to some extent. He knew nothing about this girl, nor did she know anything of him. And even if this impulsive drive didn't fill him with some measure of unease, he wouldn't dare push further. Though the finer details were shrouded deep in Flint's past, Mrs. Barlow had ties with this woman and clearly thought of her as a daughter. If the glances Captain Flint directed at her when he thought no one else was looking was any indication, he did as well. He was fairly certain the man would kill him on sight if he found out about this. And so after allowing them both a few moments respite, Billy forced himself away, kissed her forehead, and escorted her back to the captain's cabin without another word.

The second time he felt that allure came many months later. When he, as well as the rest of the crew, had been so unceremoniously introduced to Ben Gunn.

During their imprisonment the man had become quite well acquainted with the rest of the crew. Ben had been a prisoner of theirs for quite some time, and as such he was more than well-equipped to enlighten them about their predicament. He gave them the layout of the camp as best he could from within the confines of their cage. Not only that, but he knew the people. The guards, the civilians, the hunters, the Queen and her daughter. He even managed to hear a few details about the supposed King that none of the crew had ever laid eyes on. While it was of no surprise, he had spent his days with little more to do than watch and listen, the intelligence he had gathered was invaluable.

Ben quickly set himself apart from the others. Not just from the rest of the _Walrus_ crew, but apart from pirates in general. The man held a calm demeanor and his intelligence was his largest asset. He was quiet, insightful, loyal, and unlike most he actually thought before opening his mouth. He reminded him almost of Silver in a way, except for the fact that being manipulated into serving some ulterior motive was never a concern. He was obviously interested in his own survival, everyone was in this world, but he would not sacrifice others to secure his own freedom.

Discussing their plans for escape was restricted to the evening hours, when the guards were sparse and the rest of the camp lay fast asleep. That being said, the daylight hours were spent exchanging idle chit chat. Billy was almost surprised by how quickly he took to him. By the end of that first night he knew that the two would be fast friends. A rare commodity in this profession, but valuable just the same. By the time Captain Flint had secured a partnership with the Maroon Queen and they were given their freedom, it had already been decided that Ben Gunn would be welcomed among their ranks. As expected the offer was accepted readily and with earnest. He didn't blame the man for wanting to be free of this place once and for all. If the rest of his crew had slowly perished the way he had described, he would never want to return to this place either.

Even with Flint's gift at molding minds to better suit his plans, this partnership between them and the Maroon Camp was unsteady at best. As such Silver was charged with remaining behind to better solidify their newfound ties. This left Billy as acting quartermaster once more. Though he did his best not to dwell on it, he hoped that this temporary station would end better than it had previously. He still was unsure whether or not Flint had intended to leave him to drown, but if he had, he would certainly not fail a second time. Fortunately these fears were short-lived at best. As before he found himself rising to the role with little to no difficulty. This time, however, it seemed that Billy had a new partner. He wasn't sure if it was from the weeks or months of isolation Ben his faced after his crew's death, but wherever he went their recruit was not far behind. 

Once again Billy was reminded of Silver. When the thieving cook had first joined their ranks he found the man coming to him more often than naught. He wasn't dense, he knew why. It was often the source of more than a few jokes among the _Walrus_ men. Usually when they had drunk a tankard or two too much. Despite his obvious physical strength, Billy was by far one of the most gentle-hearted men aboard the ship. They likened him to a loyal hound. He was kind and unwavering, and this resulted in most coming to him when they had a grievance or simply needed someone to lend an ear. This he didn't mind. These men were his brothers, his family. Billy was more than happy to help them with whatever they needed. And if they needed to be settled down and kept in line, then he would do that as well. So it wasn't much of a surprise when Ben became his next charge.

This was by no means the first ship Ben had ever been on, and he doubted it would be the last. However, the months of captivity had taken its toll on him. Billy could infer from the way he worked so tirelessly that he had been a strong man among his crew. Now, however, he seemed a bit unsteady. His body had grown quite thin from malnourishment, and he was certain his confidence aboard a pirate ship had been similarly weakened. If nothing else then from lack of practice or routine. While the basics to sailing were the same, every ship and every crew had its own rhythm. However, once they set sail Ben seemed to take to it with relative ease. He morphed into being one of the crew without so much as a single problem. In fact, it was almost as if he had been among them this entire time.

Even so, it seemed that Ben went out of his way to seek him out. The moment the sun hung low and the _Walrus_ had its course set for the night, Ben was at his side. Usually he followed him about the deck with a calm silence. Other times he inquired about certain parts of the ship or members of the crew. As always Billy gladly sated his curiosity. He told him about the various crew members. Who would make fast friends, and who he should avoid getting into an altercation with. However, perhaps the first thing he should have done was relay the tumultuous nature of their journey thus far. Since the captain's standoff with Blackbeard it became apparent just how much Ben didn't know, and how much he should. So he told him about Captain Flint. How he had done his fair share of lying and killing, but that at this moment he was their best chance of surviving the war that was quickly coming their way.

It wasn't much longer until Billy realized just how drawn he was to the man. They had become fast friends, that much was obvious, but he began to wonder if it was perhaps evolving to something more. At least to him. Billy had never been shy about admitting the aesthetic appeal one could have, but Ben was... different. He often found himself staring at the man whenever given a spare moment, no matter how fleeting. His steady gaze took in all of him. The lightly tanned skin from his work above deck, the way the light brown hair framed his face so elegantly he almost wanted to reach out and touch it. And those eyes, _Jesus_. They were a light powder blue that so perfectly matched the sky above and the ocean surf below. It was in these few moments that he felt that familiar tug he had experienced with Abigail. That taunt twine that connected to something deep within his belly.

Billy did his best to ignore it. The way his stomach began to flutter when the man drew too close drove him mad. Being unable to control his own body made him uneasy to say the least. While he had pursued physical intimacy with Abigail to a point, that had been much easier. For starters she was a woman. Matelotage was not exactly uncommon with a life spent at sea, but even so, intimate relationships between men were still not so openly welcomed. But it was more than that. With Abigail, drawing a firm limit had been easy. She was the daughter to a lord and was to be returned to her home the very next day, after which they would never see each other again. Ben Gunn bore no such limits. If something started between the two of them, there would be nothing definitive to bring it to an end. No loophole to secure him an out if things got too intense. And with how unfamiliar Billy was with sexual attraction, he would likely need one.

Billy hated uncertainty. It was with that alone that he knew he couldn't pursue this; he didn't want to. He didn't want to complicate things, to show his vulnerability, he didn't want to mess with territory left largely uncharted. And so he did his best to drown these feelings. Whatever they were.

After several weeks they had finally made port in Nassau with the intent of remaining for more than just a few days. Despite the war that was drawing close on their heels and despite all that had changed in their absence, it felt good to be home. To be able to stretch their legs on familiar sands. The moment they weighed anchor the men had begun their departure to the island town via longboats. As usual Billy stayed behind for a while. He wished to solidify their plans with the captain. Not to mention he could use a few moments of quiet peace. By the time Billy made it to land the sun had begun to sink low along the horizon, turning the sky into a beautiful combination of blue, orange, and pink hues. As he had assumed he found the majority of the crew within the brothel. While the Madame, Max, had come to own the tavern as well, that establishment had only drinks, not whores. This place had both.

Billy stood near the door as he surveyed the bustling mess within. Music, chatter, and boisterous laughter filled the air. Scantily clad women moved about almost gracefully, sitting upon the laps of the men to whisper in their ears and stroke the coin purses that hung on their hips. There was another reason why he avoided this place. Alcohol was a fine motivator for letting slip secrets, but when women were added to the mix, well... If you had any private business when you entered, it was all the girls would be talking about by the time you left.

 _A place where men entered with secrets in their heads and coins in their pockets, and left with less of both._ It was something he had heard long ago, and now that Max was in charge it seemed to hold more weight than ever. The woman practically ran all of Nassau now. Not that most men seemed to care or even notice. Unlike Eleanor Guthrie, Max stayed out of the affairs of others. Or at least that's how she orchestrated it to appear. It was no wonder how she and Silver had struck up a such a quick partnership at the start. They were too similar for their own damn good.

It wasn't until one of his brothers came stumbling into his shoulder that he was torn from his thoughts. As usual, Dooley had drank twice his body weight and appeared as if he was going to hit the floor any moment. "Have you seen Ben?" he asked casually as he reached out to steady the man. He didn't want him to fall, but he also wasn't too keen on that tankard spilling rum down his front.

"Ben...?" he asked. He drew out the man, his face twisting almost he was trying to remember who that was. Billy was about to roll his eyes when suddenly Dooley regained at least some of his wits. "Ah, good ole Ben! Saw one of the men takin 'im up stairs." He hadn't even finished his sentence before his words gave way to drunken laughter.

Billy sighed and patted the man on the shoulder before moving past him. He had just reached the top of the stairs when he saw it. The first door on the landing was opened wide and there stood Ben in the center of the room. His expression was one of shock that quickly melted as he gave a good-natured laugh. All two quickly the man was surrounded by whores. The women moved about him as they too laughed, fingers pulling at his clothing and tugging him towards the bed. _Oh._ How had he forgotten the men's initiation of the new recruits? To introduce them to "Blackbeard"? Billy quickly found himself struggling to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. His eyes were trained on Ben, moving over the expanse of his chest as his shirt was so effortlessly pulled from his head. He watched the hands that moved over his torso, lean and muscled as he now had food to fill his belly, before reaching down unabashed to unfasten the ties of his trousers. He watched as they easily undressed him, reaching into his breeches to-- All too suddenly, any pleasure he gained from the sight before him was buried. Ben was _looking_ at him. That playful smile only seemed to grow when their gaze met, the man's attention locked on him even as the women giggled and impatiently yanked him towards the bed.

Before he knew it Billy had turned away. The heat moving down his neck and chest burned as he made his way down the stairs, the fall of his boots so heavy against the creaking wood they almost shook. He slipped away from the brothel without looking back.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... this turned out longer than it was supposed to. This may actually turn into a multi-part series, which will be rated Explicit.  
> (You created a monster, OneOnlyWoman)
> 
> Find me on [Tumblr!](http://angrypitatehusbands.tumblr.com/)


End file.
